Who Ya Gonna Call?

Whatever Providence announces plans for its "Hometown Security" initiative. Hometown security is a revolutionary new plan that will increase security and lower unemployment at the same time. How does it work? Simple: Who is always around when you don't need them? Who is always waiting for you outside the ATM? Who isn't afraid to keep a vigil all night long on a frozen city street? -THE HOMELESS, that's who! Support Whatever Providence's "Homeless Armament" program to help keep the peace. Once we get a weapon in each homeless person's hand, we won't have to worry about walking down a dark alley at night when we know that a Quick-drawing Hobo will be there to protect us along the way; the Federal Government has no jurisdiction there!
Next time a Bum asks you for a dime, give him a weapon and take a bite out of crime.